weird wonderful and wolly

today was about as strange a day as I have had in a while.  The day began with the usual attempt to send my teenager to school.  I gave up the fight and she went on condition she came home early.  Then I watched the dali lama speak live from UL on his trip here.  It was really uplifting , I felt magically wonderful.  no sooner than he had finished a former best friend and erstwhile bully of my daughter arrived seeking refuge from her bully.  I headed the words of his holiness and acted with kindness and compassion, instead of showing my displeasure of how she treated my daughter I forgave her and gave her the refuge she sought , but i still had a bit of a give out.  Today I sought to react to all situations with compassion.  I have long felt that being kind often ends with being taken advantage of.  A belief I inherited from my father.  why he believed that I found out not long before he died.  His father died suddenly and my dad who worked with his father went and did many of the jobs has father had planned to do.  When their boss found my father was not doing his work he castigated him not realising that my father was doing two jobs not no job.  my father decided never to act on his own initiative again and stopped helping people.  He told my this story when I was around 35 as he thought that I might repeat his foolishness.  I asked him if he regretted his actions and he said he did not, actually those were not his exact words , they were more like, f**k him, why should i do anything for that f***er.  He understood that he was cutting off his nose to spite his face but on an emotional level believed it was the best thing to do for him.  I am not sure how that reminds me of the dali lama and the various emotional weirdness that went on today I think it is perhaps that I finally learned the lesson i needed about kindness and compassion.  We all get opportunities to influence the lives of others for the better.  It seems to me that I have a far kinder and gentler nature than I realised. I have not really valued kindness and compassion for so long as I did not have the assertiveness and self worth needed to allow myself to be kind and compassionate and not allow others to take advantage of me.  Kindness is not weakness, compassion is not foolishness.  Showing both is not being a push over.  I love myself, I love my family.  Today was weird because of all the emotional discoveries I made and many people around me made, It was wonderful because I was inspired by the dali lama  that piece of mind is the most important thing we can teach our children , and wooly because I crocheted a significant amount of my winter comforter blanket for my future out of doors naps in the crisp winters days of the future.  It is amazing the lovely combinations you get when you combine the different colours, textures and yarns.  Many bits of wool that were weak on their own helped to make beautiful textures and colour when blended with sturdier but more boring wool.  A bit like life really.  I shall remember so much of today as I wove my feelings into the comforter.
 If in doubt crochet.
Happy middle of the night.