innocence

I have viewed myself as tough for a long time.  I now realise that I was hardened to the grimness of the reality I had created for myself.  Fundamentally I am a naive and soft hearted person.  I see the best in everyone, often to my detriment.  I am constantly surprised by other peoples bad behavior and often wonder why I am such a simpleton.  I have most unfortunately retained a very childlike view of the world.  Is this a good thing or am I in fact too innocent and credulous for my own good.  I am that girl who believed that the word gullible was in fact removed from the dictionary.  But why am I so, why do I seek the good in everyone, why am I so credulous, do I in fact see the good in everyone or do I project goodness onto them? most recently I have been asleep to the wrong doing going on in my own family. I have blindly accepted the lies that have been presented to me my my teenager.  I have see only the best in her and fallen into the trap of "oh my daughter is not like that ".  Why am I so blind to the badness in others , am I blinded by love or do I simply keep my eyes shut out of fear?

Is it simply wishful thinking and the desire to remain in that blissful state of early childhood where the world was a fragrant and beautiful place, and I was loved.  Why has it taken 37 years for me to wake up to the realisation that the world is neither good nor bad it simply is.  Today I was advised to assume that she was guilty and should have to prove her innocence.  It is so hard to accept that I am so ready to accept that which I want to hear.  I am finally learning what it is to be an adult and take responsibility for myself but to also seek the advise and support of others when making a decision.  It time to let go of the I'll do it myself said the little red hen attitude I have so long cherished, Its time for this little red hen to take off those rose tinted glasses, and be aware of the world as it is not as I have seen it for so long.  I am looking forward to living in a state closer to the real world as I slow down become mindful and open my eyes to the world around me.